Femi from Isolo, Lagos.

I am HIV positive and I lack the confidence to confide in any partner because of fear of rejection which I have passed through before. Can I still think of marriage?

EVB

Despite living with HIV, it is possible to have a beautiful and wholesome marriage! You need to have a plan – clear plan and ask God to lead you. And practically you might want to consider someone too who has overcome the bias towards People Living With HIV.

You just need a woman; one woman! God can, and will give you someone who will take you just as you are. But please always be upfront and open with options early on in the relationship. He will make a way for you in Jesus name.

Esther from Imo State, Nigeria.

Dear EVB, I desire to get married, and I recently met a good, decent man, but I’m scared of telling him about my past lifestyle because I am afraid he would leave me if he knows all the details of my past. Please what do I do?

EVB

There is no fear in love – Perfect love casts our fear. If you are now truly and genuinely born again and you currently live a life of righteousness, anyone that cannot love you without judging your past does not deserve you! The main issues are not him – but with you .

Where you are now with God and how you are living your life NOW  is what matters – not then? If your NOW is up to par and he wants you genuinely – your past history will not be a big deal.

Judith from Benin Reublic

I am a 30 year old single lady and I desire to settle down but I have a purity stand, and I have decided not to engage in pre-marital sex until marriage but most of the men I meet don’t have a solid relationship with God, or they don’t think they can cope with a relationship without sex. I have lost at least 5 suitors for these reasons! Please I really need your advise.

EVB

I congratulate you for being able to stand on your grounds, God would honour you!

It is very important you keep your principles – In marriage, it’s an asset to keep your promises particularly if it is a major faith or standard issue for you. If you compromise it – you will struggle.

You need only one man – keep praying . Keep focused. Keep searching – there are men out there who share your values and believe in purity relationships. Though few but they are there, and God will send you yours! The key is – beyond this fundamental belief, you have to be flexible on any other issue that is not fundamental.

God bless you..

Question FROM A.

I am into my thirties. I am a single mother. I’ve been in several relationships, none of which ended on a happy note. Although I am ready for marriage, I find it difficult to trust and give my heart to any guy and I don’t want to make a mistake by marrying the wrong person. What do I do?

EVB

Having a baby outside wedlock is not the end of the world. The critical thing is that you make peace with God and yourself. However you need to understand that there is a strong sentiment that still exists against single motherhood. Marriage for the single mother is not to be feared, but you have to acknowledge the challenges it brings.

A key trait that will make it easy for you is current INTEGRITY and CHARACTER status! Once your stand and current lifestyle is sorted out and people know where you are at NOW – the right person will find you, and you will also find him.

Don’t encourage fear. Keep praying, don’t do anything stupid . Humble your heart and keep it simple – you need only one man who will take you as you are. He will show up!

Your testimony is just around the corner!

S. from Lagos

I am a 22 year old, and I met a guy on a social network late last year. We have met physically and he seems like a good person. He is a Christian but I’m scared, I keep hearing negative comments that online relationships have a high failure rate and I am worried. Your advice will be appreciated.

EVB

Meeting someone on social media is not more serious than if you had met him at a bus stop or eatery etc. The key is to test if he is real and if he is for real. Usually, the best check is time. Don’t run anywhere. Slow it down – study him and ask questions. Try to know him. Initially, he may hide things but if you are observant and persistent  – with time he will let down his guard. Observe and pray! Once it’s clear that some things are not gelling – let it go before your heart gets broken.

However if you ask me – there are a lot of safer ways to get spouses and you are still in the prime of your window.

Test it and give it time and while you are doing that – am sorry if you are offended – keep it clean.

Above all pray! Prayer works!